(I was asked to contribute to an anthology that would advise a young man entering what might be the most intense years of life)
What I Learned in High School
by Heater Case
* Believe it or not, you will have dreams about high school for the rest of your life. This is a proven psychological fact. Most of them won’t make sense. Most of them will be about the hallways. I suggest you spend part of your next three years memorizing details of the layout of your school, so that your dreams will at least be architecturally accurate, albeit confusing in other aspects.
* No matter how you feel about your looks, you look great. I know this is tough to swallow sometimes. Years from now, you’ll be wishing you look this good.
* Every girl in your class notices you, whether she acts like it or not. Make sure you don’t pick your nose when you think nobody’s looking… ‘cause somebody probably is.
* Don’t say mean things about people just to fit in. Say mean things about people who say mean things. It uses up the same amount of energy, but it shows courage and character. Much like the Batmobile, chicks dig courage and character.
* In fact, less is more. I was terribly shy in High School. When I graduated everybody finally told me that they thought I was the coolest guy in school ‘cause I didn’t say stupid things. All the hottest girls (with whom I thought I’d never have a shot) all signed my yearbook wishing I was their boyfriend. Yikes! Don’t let this happen to you. The ‘not knowing until graduation’ part, I mean.
* Learn how to type. You already use computers more than anybody who has ever lived. This is the 21st Century. That might not mean a lot to you, but it did when it was only the 20th century.
* Righty/Tighty, Lefty/Loosey
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